Oh, The Places You'll Go

Just Like Whoopi Goldberg

Notes: Written for oxoniensis's 7th Porn Battle. Prompt - after.


"Not like that, you big ball of Swiss cheese," says Mac as his hand goes through Guy's and his fingertips graze the underside of Caroline's breast.

Guy's used to the hand thing by now--Mac's been showing up regularly since his untimely demise, still thinks he can walk on water (probably can now)--what he's less familiar with is Caroline's low moan. He's a Greek god between the sheets, he's had objective scoring from a panel of experts, he thought he'd stroked, sucked, licked and pushed every sound out of her she could ever make. Turns out; no.

Mac does it again, replicating his result (stupid statistics). He'd better not be looking smug, the ghosty bastard.

Caroline opens her eyes. "God, Guy," she says, "Where did that come from?"

Guy's pretty impressed she hasn't noticed he now seems to have three hands, she must be half gone already. He really is that good. "Nowhere," he says. "I'm just attuned to your every need and desire."

"Oh, yes?" says Caroline, and Guy wishes she'd sound less cynical. He does love her, he's just bad at four letter words beginning in l that don't end in –ust. Perhaps he should let Mac help this once.

"What's next?"

Caroline responds by wriggling her hands against silk ties. "That's up to you," she says. "Wasn't that the point?"

"I was, ah, talking to the little General," says Guy, reaching. Caroline's face twists with her 'oh, Guy' expression and Mac grins at him with his stupid eyes flashing in his stupid pale face. Guy never liked him.

Mac's hand reaches for Guy's. This time Guy's hand prickles with a static charge, his fingers sliding from Caroline's nipple to the flat of her ribs. He didn't do that, it wasn't him. He stares wild-eyed at Mac, who nods and says, "Let me."

Guy must have lost it because he nods too, and Mac comes around him, moulding his body over Guy's back, fitting his thighs against Guy's. There's a sensation of being hugged, firmly but gently, and then Guy feels it, the slow charge of electricity fizzling across his body as Mac melds with him. Or fuses. Fused or melded, either way it makes Guy's already hard cock stand very extremely to attention.

His hand drags across to Caroline's navel and circles it. Guy stares half-horrified, half-delighted as it loops around the hole. He can feel the taut ridge of flesh on his fingertip, but there's something else too, his heart pounds faster than usual and he can't quite catch his breath. This isn't him, not alone anyway, it's them. He should be freaking out more, this is a violation of his body, his highly-skilled, too-expensive-for-you body.

He likes it.

Mac-Guy bends and licks where the finger has been. Caroline moans again. Guy's too busy to categorise it because the muscles of her belly shaking against his hands make him wonder just how long Napoleon's going to last.

"It's okay," says Mac as if he can read Guy's thoughts. He probably can, which is...disturbing. "I've got it, we've got time."

Guy breathes easier. He isn't exactly sure who's shifting them down Caroline's body or pushing her legs apart or pressing tiny kisses to the inside of her thighs. He isn't sure who licks her with long, broad strokes and fast, decreasing circles. He isn't sure who is holding his mouth to her as she comes.

He's fairly sure it's him that positions himself between her legs--Mac goes fuzzy round the edges there for a bit--all overcome, Guy reckons. Or come over. He's back after the first couple of thrusts though, and Guy lets him take over. May as well get a free ride out of this one. It's not every day he gets to be shitting Whoopi Goldberg. Though really, he should be Swayze, the ginger git's jaw's as manly as kittens.

Mac's rhythm is different to Guy's, stuttery shallow bursts and long, deep strokes. Caroline twists and pushes herself up under them, hissing out a long yes. Mac-Guy's fingers find her clit and she comes under their hand again. Guy thinks about Mac moving inside her, moving inside him and he's so close. So close.

"I have to," says Guy. His throat opens and his tongue shifts as Mac blurts,

"I love you, I should have said more."

Caroline's eyes fly open. "Mac," she says, and Guy knows she sees him there, inside him. It makes him come so hard he can't see.

This is going to take some explaining.


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